The Strawberry Heart Read online

  ***

  Just before she left work Anselle got a call from Lisa who somehow managed to get herself invited to dinner. Anselle was still wondering how she got talked into it when she called Niav to ask her if it was okay. It was alright with Niav and she assured Anselle that there would be plenty of food for three but there probably wouldn’t be any leftovers for Anselle to take for lunch the next day. Anselle was immediately put off by that and cursed Lisa even though she hadn’t any idea what they were having or what it would taste like.

  On her way home Anselle stopped at the florist and bought Niav a bouquet of mixed flowers. When presented with them later Niav almost felt guilty when she realized that Anselle would have to chop the onion knowing that it would bring tears to the older girl’s eyes. With this dish, like the ones Anselle helped with previously, Niav had her measure out and prepare all the ingredients before starting to cook. Into a small dish Anselle measured, oregano, cinnamon and crushed garlic. She opened a can of crushed tomatoes, broke ten lasagna noodles into pieces and filled a measuring cup with two cups of water. The last thing Niav had the blonde do was chop the onion.

  The blonde sniffled and cursed as she tried to cut the onion into small dices as Niav instructed her, “What the hell, Matt? How am I supposed to cut the thing when I can’t see?”

  Niav pushed Anselle aside gently and finished the chopping while Anselle went to wash her face. When she returned Niav explained that there was an enzyme inside the onion that was released when the onion was cut into. The enzyme goes through a chemical change when it hits the air and when it comes in contact with the eye it causes an irritation and the eye produces tears to rid itself of the irritation.

  The explanation didn’t make Anselle’s eyes feel any better but she kissed Niav on the cheek for it anyway, “What’s next?”

  “Now you can start cooking. Put the ground beef into the skillet and brown it on medium high heat.” Niav returned the kiss and stepped aside to watch.

  Anselle dumped the beef into the pan and turned on the flame, “that’s easy enough.” Anselle moved back to stand next to Niav; arms folded across her chest.

  Niav laughed, “Take the wooden spoon and break the meat apart so it will cook properly.”

  “Oh, right.” Anselle took up the spoon and broke the meat apart and stirred it until it browned.

  Niav took the wooden spoon from Anselle’s hand and replaced it with a slotted spoon so Anselle could remove the cooked meat from the skillet to drain on a plate covered with paper towels. The next step was to cook the onions in the remaining fat until they were golden brown. The oregano, cinnamon and garlic were added and cooked for thirty seconds. The two cups of water were added next and brought to a boil. The meat was returned to the pan, the broken lasagna noodles were layered in and lastly the canned tomatoes were poured over the top. The skillet was covered and the timer set for eighteen minutes.

  Anselle heard footsteps on the stairs and opened Niav’s door to Lisa. The two women hugged in their usual greeting and Lisa shook Niav’s hand. “Wow. That smells great. Niav, Anselle was right, you’re food smells delicious. I wish Gina could be here. I think I’ll text her.”

  “Actually,” Niav replied, “Anselle is responsible for dinner tonight. The only thing I did was help chop the onion.”

  “Anselle?” Lisa scoffed. “Anselle can’t boil water.”

  “Hey! I can too boil water. Don’t bother Gina. Don’t you feel bad that she’s always at the restaurant and can’t enjoy nights out like this?”

  “Uh, no. She could promote that chef she has and have a night or two off a week but she’s a workaholic and doesn’t trust anyone to handle her dinner rush. She should’ve stayed in accounting with us. What’s with that face?” The woman asked Niav.

  Anselle spoke up, “Don’t mind her. That’s the face she makes whenever someone mentions accounting. See?” Niav made the face a second time. “Isn’t it cute?”

  “Cute?” Lisa looked from Anselle to Niav and back again, “Oh boy, you’re both smitten.”

  Anselle corrected her, “You saw us at brunch the other day. You didn’t realize it then? But I’m afraid it’s more than that for me.” She moved over to Niav, threw her arms around the woman, drew her head down and kissed her passionately. When they broke apart the blonde whispered, “I’ve been dreaming of doing that all day. There’s something I’d like to go over with you later too. It’s nothing bad so don’t worry. Okay?”

  Niav whispered back, “Okay.” She turned to Lisa and asked, “Do you want to help us make salad?”

  Lisa replied, “First, you were sick at brunch so I didn’t pay much attention. Plus there were mimosas. Why would I look at you when there were mimosas? Second, I would prefer to not help make salad if that’s okay with you. Third, is there anything to drink?”

  Niav went to the fridge to retrieve a beer for Lisa while Anselle gaped at her friend’s straightforwardness. To Niav, Lisa said, “Thank you.” To Anselle, Lisa said, “What?”

  Anselle just shook her head and returned to the kitchen to help Niav with the salad. They finished just as the timer went off. The woman had Anselle lift the lid from the skillet, stir and mix in some heavy cream to thicken the sauce. They let the sauce thicken for two minutes before Anselle spooned three servings onto plates and brought them to the table with the side salads, crumbled feta cheese for the salad and entrée and sliced bread with butter.

  Lisa dug right in, “This is so good! Cooking is a good hobby for someone like you.”

  Anselle was furious instantly, “What the hell do you mean ‘someone like you’? Someone like who? Gina cooks, is that a good hobby for someone like her?”

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Lisa backpedaled, “I meant that it was a good hobby for somebody who worked from home. Seriously, Anselle, you know me better than that. If I thought less of Niav I wouldn’t be here. Niav, I’m so sorry. It just came out the wrong way.”

  Niav sighed. The words ‘someone like you’ she had heard plenty of times before from voices filled with malice; one of the voices belonged to her father. She looked to Anselle for guidance. If Anselle would forgive then she would too. She put her hand on Anselle’s thigh and leaned toward Anselle. Anselle looked down at the leaning woman and nodded. Niav looked over at Lisa and smiled warily, “Its okay, Lisa.” Niav smiled but after that things weren’t the same between them and all three women felt it. They ate in relative silence; Anselle and Lisa making casual small talk as if they were acquaintances instead of long-time friends. Niav just picked at her food, shoving it around her plate with the fork.

  Halfway through dinner Niav’s phone rang and she excused herself to take the call in the bedroom. One of the doctors was returning her call from the afternoon. She listened intently to what Niav explained and she said she would be glad to help her with her recovery. They scheduled a meeting at her flat for Monday morning. When she disconnected the call she felt the feeling of hope blossoming again. The woman returned to the table beaming. She leaned into Anselle and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

  “Got good news, did you?”

  “Very. But we’ll talk about it after dinner. Who’s up for dessert? We’re having Galaktoboureko.” Niav’s mood had significantly lightened.

  “What the hell is that?” Lisa asked hesitantly.

  “It’s Greek custard pie.” Niav laughed.

  “Oh. Why didn’t you just say that?”

  “Because custard pie doesn’t sound as impressive as Galaktoboureko.”

  Anselle chuckled, “She got you there.”

  “Yes, she certainly did.” Lisa smiled.

  ***

  Later that evening Anselle and Niav were in their usual cuddle spot on Niav’s sofa when Anselle brought up the phone calls she made earlier that day. She told the woman about the call she took from Dr. Elise Turner. She didn’t go into detail with everything but she gave her opinion of the doctor from the brief conversation that they had. She liked
her, she was easy to talk too and she seemed to know what she was talking about without sounding to pretentious.

  Anselle was surprised when Niav said that she was the same doctor who called her during dinner. She was surprised again when Niav told her that she was coming on Monday for a consultation and that her opinion of her was the same.

  “That’s great Niav. I’m so proud of you.” Anselle remembered the doctor’s advice; acknowledge every small victory and praise her. “Do you want me to be here when she comes?”

  Niav thought about it for a minute before she replied, “I don’t think so but don’t go too far from your mobile just in case.”

  “No problem. Not to change the subject or anything but I noticed that the box of pictures is gone. What are you doing with them? Oh, and I got your email with the scans of your sketches. Thank you. I sent them off to my mom. I can’t wait to get her reply. I know she’s gonna love them.”

  “I told you that what I’m doing with the pictures is a secret. Trust me though, you’ll like it.”

  “I’m sorry about what Lisa said. I do know her and I don’t think she meant any harm by it. Sometimes she just doesn’t think before she opens her mouth. I’ll call her tomorrow and yell at her.”

  “I’ve heard those words before, ‘someone like you’, and not only in reference to my disorder. It’s the phrase my father used whenever she spoke to me after I came out and something didn’t go my way. When I lost my first job because of cut backs she said it was really because the boss didn’t want someone like me working there, that kind of crazy shite. It was a shock to hear those words from somebody in my own home though. I don’t think she’ll be inviting herself over for dinner again anytime soon.”

  “No, I don’t think she will.” Anselle laughed and held Niav tighter.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The next two days passed mostly like the last with Niav up early but not too early, to make breakfast and a sandwich for Anselle’s lunch. Anselle would come home so they could prepare dinner together. They laid on the sofa after dinner and watched a movie while they made out like teenagers. Anselle’s mom emailed her back with her thanks for and love of the sketches. She also said that she’d love to meet the artist but Anselle didn’t tell Niav that part and she didn’t tell her about Niav’s disorder. The only thing she told her mom was that she’d love to introduce them someday which wasn’t a lie. Niav’s boss had the author view the sketches and she approved them so now the artist was working on doing them in watercolors. Anselle called Lisa and threatened her with national exposure of the donkey story if she ever spoke to Niav like she did at dinner again. Lisa apologized profusely and even sent Niav flowers as a thank you for dinner. Niav didn’t change her mind about not inviting Lisa over for a long while even though the flowers were very nice. Gina began to call Niav once a day to see how she was doing and talk cooking. This made Anselle kind of jealous because it was a topic she felt she couldn’t share with either of them. Anselle researched gyms in the area but didn’t join one. She couldn’t figure out when she’d have the time to go, maybe she’d convince Niav to change her routine and work out before or after dinner so Anselle could join her. Though, she’d like to work out with Niav in a completely different way but she kept trying to suppress those thoughts.

  Anselle wanted to take their relationship to another level but Niav wanted to go slow. When Anselle was home she spent all her time at Niav’s, only going to her to change her clothes and sleep. She thought it was kinda silly and she wanted to suggest combining households but she knew it was too soon. Anselle sighed and took deep breaths; a lot of deep breaths and no matter what anybody said; cold showers didn’t really work. Maybe she would find time to go to the gym after all and work off some of the frustration she felt, then again maybe not. Anselle would rather spend her time with Niav even if it meant not sleeping together…yet.

  Niav wanted to take their relationship to another level but she knew she had to go slow until she recovered. Until she recovered Anselle needed a way out because Niav also knew that the recovery process could be messy and Anselle may not be able to handle it no matter what she said. There would be no ‘I love yous’ or ‘stay the nights’ until she was recovered or at least most of the way to recovered or maybe just starting to recover. Her feelings on the subject waivered depending on the proximity of her lips to the blonde’s. Niav had a sense that Anselle wasn't entirely happy when they kissed goodnight and Anselle left to go to bed but the artist didn’t ask. If she asked, and Anselle said, she was afraid her resolve will fall and she’d never let Anselle leave; ever. She didn’t want to crawl into her cold bed all alone anymore and sometimes, just sometimes she cried.

  ***

  Saturday came and Niav was starting to get nervous about her upcoming appointment with Dr Turner. She did what anyone with a guest coming to their house would do; she cleaned. Niav had nervous energy to burn. Lying across Niav’s bed Anselle watched the woman take every book off the shelves, dust each one and carefully put in on the bed. Soon Anselle couldn’t move because she was outlined with piles of books and if she moved one was sure to fall over and she knew Niav would not be happy.

  “You know, Matt she’s not going to come into the bedroom and if she does I’m sure she won’t inspect the shelves or books.”

  “She’s going to look around, Anselle. She’s going to need to see where I live and how I live to see how well I’ve adjusted.”

  Anselle wasn't quite sure what Niav meant by ‘adjusted’ but she was afraid to ask because she didn’t want to upset her girlfriend who seemed to be teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown at the moment so she let it slide, “Are you sure you don’t want me to help? I’ll even volunteer to clean the bathroom.” She’d seen Niav’s bathroom of course and knew it was spotless or there was no way she’d ever volunteer to clean anyone’s bathroom.

  Niav left the room and Anselle thought she’d blown it but the woman quickly returned with the step-stool from the kitchen so she could dust the tops of the bookcases, “I appreciate the offer of assistance but I don’t mind cleaning. If you want I can do your place when I’m done here.”

  Anselle didn’t hear a word of what Niav had said. She was busy watching Niav stretch her body to reach the tops of the bookcases; on tip-toe, making her figure longer and leaner than it normally was, arms reaching up and over, the tip of her tongue was out as she struggled to reach farther, there was a faint trace of perspiration making her skin glisten; Niav was beautiful. Anselle buried her face into the blankets and moaned.

  Niav heard the blonde moan and jumped down from the stool, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Anselle’s response was muffled by the blankets. “I can’t hear you. Anselle?”

  Anselle turned her head to the side; eyes closed so temptation was not in view, “I’m fine.”

  Niav wanted to go hands-on to make sure Anselle was ‘fine’ but she couldn’t reach Anselle for the books she had piled around her on the bed. It was the first time she had cursed herself for having so many. There was nothing she could do so she began placing the books back on the shelves as quickly as possible while maintaining some semblance of their order. When the last pile was returned to the shelf Niav went around to the other side of the bed and threw herself onto Anselle’s back.

  Anselle felt the weight of the book piles disappearing from around her and she was expecting something but not Niav’s entire weight, “Oof. Now I’m not fine.”

  Niav laughed and pressed kisses to Anselle’s neck, cheek and temple and playfully nipped at her earlobe.

  Niav's attentions felt so good and Anselle was thankful she was pinned on her stomach. She struggled under Niav's hold be she wasn't putting any real strength behind it. Niav settled down, rested her head on Anselle's back, reached around and interlaced their fingers, "Anselle?"

  “Yes?”

  “Can I clean your place too?” Anselle didn’t have to look to know Niav had her pouty face on. She could hear it in her voice.

/>   Without warning Anselle turned over flipping Niav off her back and up toward the pillows then quickly turned herself around so the two women were face to face, “Hi there.”

  “Hello,” Niav blushed.

  Anselle leaned in for a kiss; Niav deepened it and flung her free arm around the blonde pulling her closer. Anselle bent in with more pressure. Niav released her hold on Anselle and grabbed at the pillows behind her to send them flying off the bed so she could roll flatter onto her back. Anselle moved with her, draping herself over the artist’s long, lean body. The blonde knew she should move away but she couldn’t, she was too caught up in the heat of the moment. She moved down to kiss Niav’s neck and heard the woman moaning her name and saying ‘yes’ and ‘please’. Niav was still moaning as Anselle moved up to recapture her mouth in a passionate kiss. Anselle felt Niav’s cool hands caressing the skin under her shirt. Anselle moaned but a soft ringing was breaking through her concentration and distracting her. It was no use, she had lost it; the dream slipped away, she sat up in the bed and took her mobile out of her pocket, “You have really bad timing.”